Programming Jokes
Off-by-one errors, missing semicolons and code that works for no known reason. Jokes for developers, testers and anyone who has ever said "it works on my machine".
30 jokes
“Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter".
The Electrical…”
“What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?”
Inheritance.
“Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.”
“Judge: "I sentence you to the maximum punishment..."
Me (thinking): "Please be death, please be death..."
Judge: "Learn…”
“UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.”
“How did the programmer die in the shower?”
He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
“Two C strings walk into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get ya?"
The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic."
…”
“How can you tell an extroverted programmer?”
He looks at YOUR shoes when he's talking.
“// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.”
“.NET developers are picky when it comes to food.”
They only like chicken NuGet.
“The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.”
“Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.”
“Why did the programmer jump on the table?”
Because debug was on his screen.
“"Can I tell you a TCP joke?"
"Please tell me a TCP joke."
"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."”
“Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough…”
“Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?”
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
“Hey Girl,
Roses are #ff0000,
Violets are #0000ff,
I use hex codes,
But I'd use RGB for you.”
“Why did the functional programmer get thrown out of school?”
Because he refused to take classes.
“Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But…”